Been There, Done Fat!

Welcome to my very first blog!  It will be used as a tool to connect with others who are on the same spiritual, emotional, and physical journey through weight loss as me.  I thought about calling it "You Have Such a Pretty Face!" because I have wanted to punch more than one person in their pretty face for saying that to me.  However, "Been There, Done Fat" pretty much sums up how I feel.  So we'll go with that!   

I am not interested in reading one more book on how to lose weight.  I have read everyone from Dr. Phil to Dr. Atkins, and I am confident I know how.  In fact I could easily devote this entire blog to healthy recipes that fit into a 1,500 calorie diet rich in fruit, veggies and protein. I've lost the same 25-30 lbs. over and over again for the past 5 years.  Let me be clear:  I. Know. How.

What I don't know how to do is how to want to lose weight.  I have read enough Geneen Roth and Marianne Williamson books to know it has nothing to do with the food going in my mouth.  I am hungry, in fact starving for something, but it's not food.  Marianne says, "you tend to take in too much material substance when you are starving yourself of spiritual substance." 

This journey is really about discovering the "why" behind my compulsive eating. Maybe I can help others  see that it's not about just making better food choices or getting up and exercising.  It's complicated and often scary. 

I want to be kind to this body that has carried me through 36 years of life and birthed 3 beautiful, healthy babies. I want to further explore this foreign idea of loving myself.  No doubt it will be much like a solo backpacking expedition up Mt. Everest.  I am aware of the maniacal menacing voice that lives comfortably inside my head constantly reminding me that I am not good enough, not thin enough, not patient enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, (insert any other self-deprecating remark you can think of here).  I am serving that voice its eviction notice.  It needs to pack its bags and hit the road.  To quote Stuart Smalley,: “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough.  And doggone it people like me.”

It’s estimated that 66% of all women in the United States over the age of 20 are overweight.  33% of them are obese.  I will not contribute to that upsetting statistic any more.  Like Marianne Williamson suggests in A Course in Weight Loss, I am surrendering.  I am waving the white flag with my chubby little hand.  I cannot do this alone.  I have proven time and time again that I am a failure at diets and weight loss plans.  I surrender and I am giving it to a higher power. 

This is your invitation to join me.